


You Meet My Eyes On The Floor

by maschinenmensch



Series: i'll take you out and up in light [2]
Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Holtzbert - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, these two make me cry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-03
Updated: 2016-10-03
Packaged: 2018-08-19 05:53:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8192695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maschinenmensch/pseuds/maschinenmensch
Summary: When Holtzmann is reminded of her past she has to run. Until she doesn't anymore.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I fear y'all have created a monster.
> 
> This isn't a sequel to [You Don't Have To Be Alone Anymore](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8122561/chapters/18619906), rather a companion piece that stuck in my head as I was finishing things up last night. Basically it's Holtz's perspective from the final two chapters. That being said, it's not going to make much sense if you don't read the other story first.
> 
> Anyway, onward...

Holtzmann sat on the floor in Erin’s bathroom, holding her knees to her chest, rocking back and forth slightly.

Things were going so well. It was becoming more apparent to Holtz that Erin had feelings for her. She had reached the point where scruples be damned, she was going to make a move. She had been trying to calculate when it would be a good time to kiss her. _Should I do it now while we’re in bed together? Maybe after breakfast? Or maybe just pull her in the shower with me and-_

Then Erin asked her about that picture. That damn picture. And it was like she had blacked out. Everything went fuzzy.

And she did what she always did. She ran like hell when she had to face her feelings.

Holtzmann squeezed her eyes shut.

_“You’re a queer and if you don’t do something about that, you’re going to hell.”_

_“Jillian’s a dyke! Jillian’s a dyke!”_

_“You thought last night meant something? Do you really think I’d bring someone like *you* back home to my parents? Get a clue.”_

Holtzmann covered her ears. _Stop, stop I don’t want to think about this, it’s too much, too much…_

She wanted to scream. She settled for crying so hard she vomited.

\--

When she finally left the bathroom, Erin had almost finished breakfast. Seeing her face made her want to get sick all over again.

_You hurt her. Just tell her you’re sorry, you overreacted, just…._

“I guess I’ll just have some crackers since your toaster’s still in pieces…”

Erin managed a half smile. She spooned the last of her corn flakes into her mouth, eyes glassy, staring off into space.

_Don’t feel bad, you didn’t do anything wrong._

Erin stood up and put her bowl in the sink. She looked at Holtz briefly, as if she was going to say something, shook her head and walked to the bathroom to shower.

Holtz gripped the edge of kitchen table. It took all her willpower not to flip it.

\--

Holtzmann screwed the last bolt into Erin’s toaster and sighed. _Finished. Geez, I hope I didn’t set the wattage too high._

She placed the toaster gently on Erin’s counter.

_I could make dinner for us. For Erin I mean. When she comes home. Apologize. Tell her everything. Kiss and make up, so to speak._

_But do you really think she’ll care? You’re an asshole Holtzmann. You always have been._

Holtzmann bolted to the bedroom and threw some clothes on. She rapidly tossed her remaining clothing and belongings into her duffel bag.

As she opened the door to Erin’s apartment to leave she paused to look back.

_It didn’t have to be this way you know._

She closed the door.

_Don’t look back._

\--

Holtzmann had nearly sprinted the six blocks to the subway station. She had a coughing spell so bad on the platform she nearly barfed again.

_I’m going to sleep when I get home and not wake up until Monday._

She had been rehearsing in her head what she would tell Erin on the phone. _At least I have to let her know I left. I owe her that much._

She could tell Erin wanted to apologize ( _for what?_ ), to talk about what happened. But Holtzmann couldn’t handle it. Not now. So she pretended the phone lost signal and ended the call. She leaned her head against the pole in the subway car and closed her eyes.

_Crying is for dudes. Wait until you get home._

\--

Holtzmann laid on her living room floor, naked but for the towel that she had wrapped around herself after showering. She stared at the ceiling, counting the spider webs. She wanted to sleep so badly, but every time she closed her eyes she’d see Erin’s face looking back at her.

Her cell phone buzzed. She reached over and grabbed it out of the jacket she had thrown on the floor. It was a text message. Abby.

“Where are you?”

“Home.”

“Erin is upset”

“She should be. I’m an asshole.”

“Shut up Holtz. I sent her home. Go to her.”

“She won’t want to see me.”

“Holtzmann, I love you but stop being an idiot. She took care of your sick ass all week. Do you really think she doesn’t care? She’d do anything for you.”

Holtzmann squinted at the screen. Her eyes were watery all of a sudden. _Where’d that come from?_

“I’m scared Abby.”

“It’s going to be ok Holtzy. Go see her. Please. For me?”

Holtzmann didn’t move. She felt as if her entire body was made of lead.

“Holtzmann?”

“I’ll go.”

“Go get her tiger <3”

Holtzmann sighed and put her phone down. She stood up and walked over to her fish and fed them.

“Your mom’s about to make an ass out of herself for love. Wish me luck kids.”

\--

_I’ve never wanted to make a woman come undone as much as I want to right now._

Holtz sucked on Erin’s neck, marking her. The resulting moan from her ministrations made Holtzmann shiver.

_Is this what it’s like to be with someone you care about? To know you’re not going to sneak out in the morning? I want to do this everyday for the rest of my life._

Holtzmann had no idea when they ended up on the couch, but feeling Erin underneath her made her skin feel as if it was on fire. She wanted to cover every inch of Erin with her mouth, to show her how *worthy* she was of this.

When Erin stroked her through her pants she felt it in every fiber of her being. No one had ever made her feel things like this. Ever.

Holtzmann suddenly felt woozy and sat up. _Must be all those hormones raging._ Except it wasn’t. Holtz sneezed repeatedly. _Ugh, maybe I’m not as well as I think I am._

Holtzmann looked down at Erin lying underneath her - sweating, breathing heavy, looking at her with something in her eyes that Holtzmann couldn’t believe.

_Love._

\--

Sunlight streamed through the windows. Holtzmann opened up one eye to see an auburn blur. She pulled back a bit to realize that it was Erin’s hair. She had flipped over in her sleep and was hugging Holtzmann. Holtz was hugging her back.

She lightly stroked the bare skin under Erin’s shirt. Erin shifted slightly and mumbled something in her sleep.

When Holtzmann was convinced Erin was still sleeping she brought her lips close to her ear and whispered very quietly.

_I love you._

**Author's Note:**

> I guess you can't have fluff without angst. Or something like that. 
> 
> I'll be starting a proper sequel to all of this next. Wish me luck!
> 
> Btw, I guess I'm making it a thing that I'm titling these works after my earworms. So the title of this one comes from ["House Shoes" by Nadastrom](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPXsxMfloVs)
> 
> Still at geekmisconduct on tumblr if you want to hit me up with comments (or just hit me, lol).


End file.
